Temper Tantrums 101

My two-year-old, Ally, has had quite a day...and therefore, so have we. From the moment she woke this morning, she has been in a bit of a funk. Realistically, I cannot blame her much- we've been traveling, she's gotten less sleep, possibly had a tummy ache, etc. Unfortunately, she's so unhappy, so frustrated, so set in her ways, that she is determined to showcase her anger, and bring the rest of us down with her.

I feel her methods should be shared, in case anyone is interested in perfecting her craft.

1. If you don't feel like getting dressed in the morning, the best approach to getting your way is to throw yourself onto the bed, scream to a point of waking your baby cousin up, and then convince your mom to allow you to wear pants beneath your nightgown.

2. Scream at the top of your lungs, and with your eyes shut securely, when any show other than Little Einsteins is turned on. Furthermore, if the episode which is on isn't the exact one you want to watch- scream again- and louder the second time.

3. Refuse to eat your dinner unless it is cut into pieces which meet your specifications. Adamantly shove away anything resembling a vegetable.

4. Getting your point across is much easier if you lie directly on your stomach as your arms and legs kick out in all directions.

5. Say "no" a lot...and really loudly. Say "no" even if you mean yes, kind of, maybe, or I suppose so. Say "no" if your brother asks you a question, your sister attempts to help you, your mom tries to hug you, and your dad tells you to stop.

6. If you have trouble remember any of the above methods...just focus on screaming and saying "no!" Yes, others will think you are unreasonable, but you won't be able to hear them above your own voice, so it really doesn't matter.