Is It Swine...or Something Else?

You ever had the feeling that something was sitting on top of your chest and restricting your breathing? Well, that's how the virus started. I went to bed on Saturday night with achiness all over my body and a sensation that something- a person, an animal, a rather large file box, the possibilities are endless- was literally parked on top of my chest. Sunday morning, I woke up to a slight fever, more muscle aches, a sore throat, a headache, a cough, a stuffy nose, and a general complaint of "man I feel like crap."

My oldest daughter, Madison, was sick with this for four days. My son, Peyton, had it for three days, and my husband was not feeling well last week. I can't say he was sick because his pain threshold is not like a normal human. He's more on the lines of a superhero, nothing quite bothers him like it hurts everyone else. He's the type of person who can take a dose of Tylenol Cold and Flu and call it good. Luckily, my youngest hasn't gotten this virus...yet. I'm currently knocking on wood, crossing my fingers, and avoiding walking beneath ladders, of any sort, in hopes that feeble superstitions will keep the bugs out of her tiny body.

So what do I have? Is it the H1N1 virus we've all heard about, or just a regular respiratory illness? Honestly, I have no idea. These are the CDC's listed symptoms for the H1N1 Flu, also known as the Swine Flu...
The symptoms of 2009 H1N1 flu virus in people include fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. Some people may have vomiting and diarrhea. People may be infected with the flu, including 2009 H1N1 and have respiratory symptoms without a fever. Severe illnesses and deaths have occurred as a result of illness associated with this virus.

Here are the symptoms of a respiratory virus (RSV) according to the Mayo Clinic...
Signs and symptoms of respiratory syncytial virus infection typically appear about four to six days after exposure to the virus. In adults and older children, RSV usually causes mild cold-like signs and symptoms. These include:
Congested or runny nose
Dry cough
Low-grade fever
Sore throat
Mild headache
A general feeling of unease and discomfort (malaise)

As I sit on my couch, my rear forming an imprint because this is all I've been able to do for the past three days, I wonder what I might possibly have? Can I assume it's the H1N1 and say I've paid my dues to this monster, and therefore, can move on to other seasonal viruses? Or should I recover from this one, and fear the big one will hit anytime in the next few months? We'll have to wait and see. On a bright note- I did buy one of those new temporal thermometers. Just one quick swipe across the forehead reads a person's temperature. How cool is that?

Potty Time

Apparently, my two-year-old is potty training her doll. For those of you who've followed my wordpress blog, you are aware that I began potty training Ally, in June. Now it's late-October, and let's just say, we haven't accomplished our ultimate goal...the one where Ally wears big girl underpants and uses a toilet seat when she goes to the bathroom.

But the good news is, her doll does. Did you know that her Purple Baby (Ally's favorite doll), Elmo, Dora, the Backyardigans, and Kai lan all pee in the potty chair? It's really quite amazing when you think about it. They take the initiative and go to the bathroom on Ally's potty. They don't need sticker charts, candy, or toy incentives of any sort. When they have to pee or poop, they just sit on this Dora potty and go. Ally, however, does not.

The only time Ally truly takes the initiative to not go in her pants or a diaper, is when she is stalling before bed. Maybe it was my fault for trying too soon...before she had the urge to go. What's interesting to me, however, is that she tells me before she goes, after she goes, and often while she's going. Hmm...

Yes, this doll pees in the potty. In fact, Ally put her there so that she could go. And while this doll was peeing, Ally went in her pants, and then told me about it.

Spoiled Soy Milk

Yesterday, following dinner, my two-year-old asked me for milk. I remember getting the sippy cup and pouring the milk into it. I remember handing it to her, as she whined beside my feet. I don't remember putting the half gallon of soy milk back into the refrigerator. That's not strange, you may think. I often forget those monotonous details of my day. True, I would agree...it isn't unusual to forget the little details. What is strange, however, is completely forgetting to put the milk back into the refrigerator, where it belongs. Yet, this morning, when I opened the cupboard to grab a new sippy cup, this is what I saw- an entire half gallon of soy milk sitting beside the cups, at room temperature, having sat there all night.

I wanted to pull my hair right out of my head and scream at myself. What was I thinking? How could I forget to put the milk away? Now, not only do I have a dozen things to do today- I also have to go to the grocery store and buy more milk to replace the brand new container I just opened yesterday!

Seriously...what is wrong with me? Am I suffering from mommy fatigue, or early onset dementia, or is it possible that I am just too exhausted to function properly. It is a Monday, and although we barely did anything on Sunday, I am physically and mentally wiped out. I am dangerously approaching the edge where I will cry if Sesame Street doesn't start on time. My son was whining before school because he wanted to wear his green coat that transforms him into "All Clothes Boy," his superhero alter ego, my daughter couldn't go to school because she has a 101 temperature, and the fear of Swine Flu is weighing down on me, making me believe that any sniffle is a sure sign that someone's brought it home. My toddler is still refusing to sleep at night and is now getting a stuffy nose, did I mention she is really strong-willed and ambivalent lately? And my husband was stressing out about being late for a meeting. Combine this with the fact that I had a 7:30 a.m. physical therapy appointment, and I wonder why I don't forget to put the milk away more often.

Jon, Richie, David, and Tico...a few of my favorite men

My mom said "no," when I asked her. She said "absolutely not," when I begged her. My bangs were styled with utter precision and my stonewashed jeans longed to attend a rock concert. It was true, we didn't live close to where they were performing, but that was nothing more than logistics, as far as I was concerned. The year was 1986, and I wanted to be front and center, at the Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet, concert. I was thirteen-years-old, and I was in love, with a rock band.

I remember a time when Bon Jovi was made up of five members, how I almost passed out from excitement the Christmas I received their Slippery When Wet cassette tape, the posters of Jon Bon Jovi which hung in my bedroom, and nearly all of Richie Sambora's guitar solos. They were, and still are, the coolest rock band of all time. They weren't a fad which died away, or a group of "bad guys" who sang a couple of cool songs and had more tattoos than hits, they are songwriters and artists whose music continues to keep me one of their biggest fans.

I went to my first Bon Jovi concert four years ago, on their Have a Nice Day Tour, with my younger sister, who is also a diehard fan. We screamed, danced, and sang along with the music. We vowed, as we walked out of the arena, with our ears ringing, that we would not rest until we saw Bon Jovi perform again. This is a promise I intend to keep.

Bon Jovi blared out of my tape deck twenty-three years ago, and I still listen to their music. Yesterday, I watched their new video "We Weren't Born to Follow," on MSNBC.com. I predict another hit for them on their upcoming album, The Circle. The song is amazing, the video is awesome, and I would expect nothing less.

The Cliche

Writers are warned to stay away from cliches, to not use them ever. Cliches are those common and often overused expressions or ideas. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," "There's no place like home," "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine." You get the idea. Here's the thing though, sometimes cliches are completely true, as in what happened to me yesterday.

My husband wanted to go to a Freedom Salute Ceremony for the Troop which he was once the Commander of. His friend was the key note speaker and he wanted to be there to support the Soldiers. To give you some background information, my husband is in the military and recently returned from his second deployment, to Iraq. A Freedom Salute Ceremony is essentially a Welcome Home event for Soldiers and their Families. Often, political figures show up to welcome them home and say thanks. So we decided to go, with our children, to this event. The problem...my husband didn't ask exactly were the ceremony was or for directions on how to get there, hence the cliche.

It's been done so many times before- man gets lost, refuses to ask for directions, wife rolls her eyes. We've seen it in comic strips, on television shows, in the movies, joked about it countless times. It's a very profound and common cliche- yet, in my experience- it's totally true, and what makes it even more complicated is the fact that my husband is in the military and believes he is capable of locating anything just by sheer will and the use of a compass (the latter of which he did not have yesterday). So here's my quick tale of our recent cliche.

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was a man who refused to ask for directions. He knew just by using the force, he could find his way. He searched high and low. His wife turned to him and said, "please honey, pull over and ask for directions at a gas station. The truth will set you free." He responded, "You can't handle the truth." To which she said, "I'll pay you anything, just name the price." He said, "Show me the money!" Finally, they arrived, fashionably late, and made their entrance. And they lived happily ever after. As they say, the rest is history.

The Sleep Dilemma

I was at Target the other day, buying prizes to entice my youngest to sleep in her own room for the entire night. The checkout girl, who was assisting me, asked if I was having an Elmo party, being that most of the prizes were from the Sesame Street bins, in the dollar section. I smiled and sheepishly informed her that it was another effort to get my daughter sleeping through the night. She then proceeded to tell me that she is a nanny for three children, the youngest of which is five, and finally started sleeping through the night. Then she added, "her parents were just too inconsistent. When I watch her, she sleeps in her own bed." The look on this lady's face was so satisfied, so confident, so that of a person who has never had children.

As I walked away, she wished me luck, and I smiled because I am a parent, of three children. I am stubborn and consistent and always jumping through invisible hoops in my quest to become a better mom. Currently, my mission is one...to get a good nights sleep. My two-year-old has never been one of those children who sleeps through the night. Come to think of it, my older two, weren't either. At the present time, she is suffering from night terrors, waking up thrashing, screaming, and completely inconsolable. My husband and I then spend an average of thirty minutes calming her down, and examining her bedroom for the invisible monsters which she insists are lurking everywhere.

So my question to you Target lady is this, "Are you able to to stop by at 2:00a.m. and calm her down as she is still partially asleep, but also screaming. Can you bring your night vision goggles with you in order to find the enormous monster cat that only she can see?" If you could stop by, it would be really great, because I haven't had a solid nights sleep in about nine years.