I Have A Dream

I have a dream...
That someday I will live close to my family- on the same street- would be fine.
To be able to attend all of my younger sister's basketball games and my niece and nephew's birthday parties.
That cancer will be 100% curable.
For the opportunity to continue writing what interests me and what I believe in, and that someone else will want to read it.
For a magic pill which combats food allergies and intolerances.
For my mom not to feel guilty for being unable to help me out when my children are sick.
To live next door to my sister so when my husband is deployed, we can go for daily walks and coffee breaks.
To be around whenever my grandma needs a ride to the grocery store or a person to chat with.

Here's to fresh start, a New Year, and the hope that dreams may come true.

A Very Long Night

Yesterday evening, after tucking Maddie and Peyton into bed, I decided to order the movie, My Sister's Keeper. It's a movie based on a book, with the same title, written by Jodi Picoult. The novel is my favorite of hers and although I'd heard some mixed reviews, especially pertaining to the changed ending, I thought I'd give it a chance. Obviously I cried, I mean c'mon, it's a book about childhood cancer. Plus, having lost my uncle to cancer just last summer, followed by my grandpa to renal failure within a two week period, I'm still grieving. No, I didn't like to movie as much as I enjoyed reading the novel. Yet, I believe it was still worth watching. My husband watched with me, along with our two-year-old, who has been sick.

This was my primary mistake- watching a movie about a very ill child while my own child was sick. By the time we tucked her into our bed, between us because she was coughing and feverish, I was reluctant to even fall asleep for fear that Allison would worsen during the night. Unfortunately, that is what happened.
12:00 am...Allison's fever is at 101.5 and her cough started to sound like a bark.
12:30 am...First conversation with my husband over whether we should take her to the ER.
12:35 am...Second conversation about the ER.
12:40 am...Breathing sounding raspier, she continued to cough and was extremely restless.
12:45 am...Third conversation.
12:50 am...Did a barking seal enter my bedroom? Nope, that would be Allison.
1:00 am...Scenes from My Sister's Keeper entered my mind, making my imagination of what could be wrong with my baby go into overdrive.
1:10 am...We were officially on our way to the hospital. Chris stayed home with the other kids, who were obviously sleeping.
1:40 am...Arrived at Mary Bridge Children's Hospital.
1:45 am...Checked in and was put in a triage room.
2:00 am...Was moved to an exam room by a medical aid who said, "this girl definately has the croup.
2:15 am...Two nurses and myself had to physically restrain Ally so she could be given a dose of tylenol. Her temp was now 103.
2:30 am...Ally and I were left to wait for the doctor. I haven't been that physically tired since I was nursing a newborn.
3:00 am...After texting Chris again that the doctor still hadn't come in, the doctor walked in and confirmed that Ally has croup. He prescribed a steroid and told me to take her to her pediatrician later today.
3:15 am...Two nurses and I had to restrain Ally in order to give her a dose of an oral steroid.
3:30 am...One very tired toddler and an exhausted mom headed out of the emergency room and made the thirty minute drive home.
4:00 am...Chris greeted us at the door and we all collapsed into bed. Ally was breathing normally again and we all slept soundly for a few hours.

I am again reminded of how fortunate I am to have healthy children and thankful that Allison is feeling better. I am also glad we recently donate to St. Jude's Hospital, and hopeful that one day childhood cancer will be a distant memory.

What I Love About Christmas...

The countdown is officially on...Christmas is just three short days away. The stockings are hung, the kids are beside themselves with anticipation, the presents are wrapped, and the baking will commence tomorrow. I love the holiday season- everything from the handmade preschool ornaments, to the lights around the neighborhood, to the innocent letters to Santa. I look forward to being woken up at dawn to the screams of excited children scoping out what Santa brought them. I love seeing the exhausted look on my husbands face, as he makes a pot of coffee, while telling the kids "in just five minutes you can open your gifts."

On Christmas Eve, I will watch my daughter sing with the Children's Choir at mass. All of the little kids will be wearing their Christmas best, and the mass will last about fifteen minutes beyond the breaking point of any toddler. Yet, it is the one day of the year when we can truly tell that toddler to, "calm down because Santa is coming tonight." I look forward to driving to the Eastern side of the state to see my family. Perhaps we'll do a puzzle, or play a game, or argue over whose turn it is to wash the dinner dishes. Either way, we'll be together and that's what Christmas is all about.

After School Activities

Yesterday, Chris actually said, "Wow...the kids have gymnastics and swimming on Thursdays too? I thought just on Tuesdays. That's a lot of work." Yes, my husband is such a sweet, loving, completely clueless man.

Here's a rundown of the activities they are in...
Maddie-
Gymnastics
Choir
Faith Formation Class
Science Club

Peyton-
Swimming
Cub Scouts
Faith Formation
Science Club

Allison-
Toddler Gym or Toddler Swimming Lessons
Potty Training

Actually, our activities are less this year, as Maddie has given up Girl Scouts and Peyton no longer pretends to sing in the Church Choir- although I still have to take Maddie there, so it doesn't really matter anyway.

The good news...they love it all. Maddie moved up to the Intermediate level in gymnastics yesterday. We're talking, the real gymnastics, too. Not like when I was a kid with a rickety old swing set as my uneven bars, a sleeping bag for my floor mat, and a two by four propped up between two garbage cans as my balance beam. Peyton moved up a level in swimming also. He told his swim instructor that he didn't want to move up because for Peyton, change is very very bad. By today, he was talking nonstop about how he is no longer a polliwog, but a guppy now. Ally woke up with a dry pull up on this morning...yay, for potty training.

Only one dilemma remains...not one of my kids has shown any interest in playing basketball. I know they're young and there is still time, but seriously c'mon...basketball's the best.

Taking the High Road

I write for a website occasionally and recently published an article which was received well by some, and poorly by another. The subject matter was about a very personal experience in my life...religion. Yes, I know writing about religion or politics is always bound to ruffle a few feathers, but that was not my intent when writing this piece. Today I received a fairly brash and confrontational comment to this article. At first I was taken back, then of course my feelings were hurt.

That's the thing about writing- not everyone agrees with you. I suppose you could compare it to being a teacher who works hours upon hours both with her class and preparing for her class. Yet, it just takes one dissatisfied parent to make work that more challenging...even though you truly love your job. Even when you write with the best of intentions, people misinterpret your message or flat out disagree.

I could choose to reply to this comment or write a response explaining my thoughts, but I think I'm going to take the high road on this one. I'm not going to justify myself or get into a back and forth debate with a person who appears to be much more confrontational than I am. After all, I'm a part-time writer and a full-time mom. I don't get paid enough to be bullied.

Pet Ownership

My favorite The Cosby Show episode is the one where Rudy's fish dies and Cliff insists on holding a funeral for Lamonte...I believe his name was...in the bathroom. He makes all of the kids wear funeral attire and eulogizes the fish beside the toilet bowl. I still laugh when I think of Vanessa muttering, as she rolls her eyes, "he's talking to the f-i-sh."

I haven't had a lot of luck in the past with pets, which is perhaps why I thought that episode was so funny. My dog, Macy, will turn four on Christmas, and for that I am grateful. I am also extremely happy that she is fully past the puppy stage, and her annoying habits have become much less annoying. Aside from her, I've been nervous to own pets or allow my kids to have them. When I was a kid, I owned two parakeets. They both died. It was extremely sad for me; yet sadly also a bit of a relief because I no longer had to beg my mom to clean their cage for me, or hear them chirping beneath a draped blanket in the middle of the night. My brother owned gerbils, who also died. Every fish we've ever owned didn't last long- even the goldfish I placed in my classroom, while working for the YMCA, slowly began floating at the top of the bowl. Once, when subbing, I walking into the classroom one morning to find the pet guinea pig no longer breathing. Since I'd just arrived, I can safely assume its passing was not my fault.

Therefore, you can imagine my trepidation when Maddie asked for a fish, for her ninth birthday. Initially I told her no, but her Dad felt she was ready for this responsibility and talked me into buying her a betta fish. The day she came home from the pet store with her cute little blue betta fish and all the accessories that go along with it, she was so excited. She's also proved to be a good little pet owner, making sure to feed her fish, Aslan, every morning and evening. I have to say, Aslan is a pretty cool little guy...or girl, I can't tell. He swims around beneath his plant and fluffs out his fins when he gets spooked. Betta fish are really territorial, so two can't be placed in the same tank or they will essentially fight to the death.

Amazingly, we've owned Aslan for two months now, and as I was cleaning his little tank this morning, I began thinking of what a great fish he is. I'm hoping he sticks around with us for awhile longer. Yet, when the time comes- we will not be giving him a toilet side funeral...rather, a quiet memorial, because that's what Aslan likes...peace and quiet.

Go Gonzaga...G-O-N-Z-A-G-A

Chris and I were able to watch the Zags play yesterday as part of the Battle in Seattle. Our seats were technically in the nosebleed section, but we had a full view of the court. This was our first game in several years- well, the first game we've watched in person and not on ESPN.

While we were there, Chris decided to make note of all of the "greats" we've had the opportunity to watch. By greats, I am referring to the star players of the team. There was John Rillie, Matt Santangelo, Richie Frahm, Casey Cavalry, Dan Dickau, Blake Stepp, Adam Morrison, Ronny Turiaf, Derek Raivio, Josh Heytvelt, and Jeremy Pargo. This years team leader...Matt Bouldin was out yesterday due to injury. Austin Daye jumped ship at the end of last season to enter the draft. Let's not forget those who made Gonzaga basketball great...Frank Burgess and John Stockton.

Chris and I will continue to follow Gonzaga basketball- both as die hard fans and proud alumni. We look forward to another NCAA tournament bid.

Preschool Television

It is official, Madison and Peyton, have reached the age where they have begun to rationalize that preschool television is unrealistic. Allison, my two-year-old, has not. In fact, she'd watch it all day, if I let her. She adores Dora, sings along with Diego, dances to Little Einsteins, laughs at Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, points to The Backyardigans, answers the questions asked on Blues Clues. She is a magnet for Nick Jr. and Playhouse Disney, begging to turn on the television the moment she wakes up in the morning.

Madison and Peyton, on the other hand, have decided that although entertaining- these shows are not real...at all. These are the comments which can be heard as Ally watches her shows. "How come Dora's parents let her go places with a monkey? And there are no such things as talking maps and backpacks," "Why is Joe asking if we see a clue? It's right in front of him...geesh!" "It's so fake that Diego is able to play with wild animals and only needs a rescue pack to go places. You can totally tell he is related to Dora, because their parents let them do anything," "Mickey Mouse knows the answer to his questions. Why doesn't he just say it instead of waiting for a two-year-old to?" "Mom, there is no way the Backyardigans could have those adventures. It's not real at all."

Luckily, Madison and Peyton haven't lost their imaginations completely. They still play school, dig holes in the backyard looking for lost treasures, and coordinate plays that take hours to rehearse and only minutes to perform. Oh...and Star Wars isn't unrealistic at all...neither are the Transformers. Apparently there are light saber carrying robots maneuvering through our neighborhood on a daily basis.

My only question is this. Why do the Berenstain Bears never change clothes? Further, why are their names Papa, Mama, Brother and Sister? And they live in a tree house. Actually, that's pretty cool.

Off and Running

I'm back up to running three miles. This is quite a feat for me, considering the knee problem I've been dealing with for the past several months. After a month of ice and anti-inflammatories, an x-ray, an MRI, a cortisone shot, eight weeks of physical therapy, two gait analyses, and custom made orthotics...I am back on the treadmill. What a great feeling it is to get a run in several days a week. I just feel better, and I have yet to find an exercise which gets my blood pumping and endorphins going like running.

I've also switched to New Balance running shoes. The ones I'm currently using are perfect, because they fit my feet really well. Not only do I have small feet, size 5.5, they are also slightly wide. The New Balance shoe fits me quite well and feels great.

Unfortunately, my knee is still hurting a bit...but perhaps with some cross training and strengthening, I'll be back to training soon. I'd really like to run another 1/2 marathon by next summer. Happy Running...

Temper Tantrums 101

My two-year-old, Ally, has had quite a day...and therefore, so have we. From the moment she woke this morning, she has been in a bit of a funk. Realistically, I cannot blame her much- we've been traveling, she's gotten less sleep, possibly had a tummy ache, etc. Unfortunately, she's so unhappy, so frustrated, so set in her ways, that she is determined to showcase her anger, and bring the rest of us down with her.

I feel her methods should be shared, in case anyone is interested in perfecting her craft.

1. If you don't feel like getting dressed in the morning, the best approach to getting your way is to throw yourself onto the bed, scream to a point of waking your baby cousin up, and then convince your mom to allow you to wear pants beneath your nightgown.

2. Scream at the top of your lungs, and with your eyes shut securely, when any show other than Little Einsteins is turned on. Furthermore, if the episode which is on isn't the exact one you want to watch- scream again- and louder the second time.

3. Refuse to eat your dinner unless it is cut into pieces which meet your specifications. Adamantly shove away anything resembling a vegetable.

4. Getting your point across is much easier if you lie directly on your stomach as your arms and legs kick out in all directions.

5. Say "no" a lot...and really loudly. Say "no" even if you mean yes, kind of, maybe, or I suppose so. Say "no" if your brother asks you a question, your sister attempts to help you, your mom tries to hug you, and your dad tells you to stop.

6. If you have trouble remember any of the above methods...just focus on screaming and saying "no!" Yes, others will think you are unreasonable, but you won't be able to hear them above your own voice, so it really doesn't matter.

Packing...Not My Favorite Thing

I sit here working on the computer , and if I'm being honest- checking status updates on facebook, when I have a far more pressing need awaiting me. Tomorrow I'll be traveling and I really need to pack my suitcase, but the thought of it is shrinking my motivation. The reason...I really hate packing. I truly despise it, and before each trip, find myself wishing that I had a ready-to-go suitcase and toiletry bag just so I wouldn't have to prepare.

I typically wait to pack at the very last minute, which isn't my style in any other area of my life. I am a planner, a coordinator, an obsessively compulsive organizer. My house is already decorated for Christmas, important dates are highlighted on my calendar, and almost all of our Christmas shopping is completed. Yet, for my trip tomorrow, I've done nothing aside from pulling the suitcase out of the closet and tossing it onto the bed.

This is why I hate packing...
*I can't decide what clothing I need so I always bring way too much, and therefore everything either gets wrinkled or never sees the light of day.
*Toiletries are the worst. One of these days I'm going to have a toiletry bag ready to set in a suitcase at a moment's notice. One of these days...not today.
*Everything I pack has to be unpacked when I return, so really, it's just a lot of extra work.
*Complaining about packing takes away from the fact that I should in fact be packing- a detail I still don't care for.

Signing off for now because I need to start packing. On second thought, I'll log onto facebook first...