Motivation...Or Lack Of

I wasn't much in the writing mood today and definitely not in the mood to research agents and send out query letters. Until right this very moment, I haven't felt much like blogging. I checked out a website that I occasionally write for and discovered some nasty comments about my last article were in fact posted. The odd, yet funny thing is, they aren't comments about the article itself, the concept, or the writing...they are rather, insignificant musings about the religion which I was writing about. Believe me, the men (as all of the names would lead me to believe) are really disgruntled about past experiences in the Church and they choose to squash any progress or information, because of it. Whatever...that's their issue, not mine.

I sit here on my couch with my laptop listening to a fierce game of hide-and-go-seek going on upstairs. Maddie and Peyton have completed their homework, the house is clean, dinner has been planned but not made, and Ally is currently wearing a pair of sunglasses in order to look like her older sister (who wears glasses). Our furnace is on the fritz, my husband is among the missing, and I promised to take M & P to their school skate night. I will not be skating having just recovered from a knee injury, but they'll have a good time.

I'm not really feeling sorry for myself, just rather lethargic, as the day goes on. Perhaps tomorrow I'll be more inspired and will once again type out a couple thousand words in the novel I'm currently writing, or I'll finish my entry for the PNWA writing contest. Maybe I'll do some more query research, or continue thickening my skin for rejections and negative reviews. Either way, tomorrow will be a new day and hopeful more inspiring.

I've added a follower gadget. If you read this blog, please think about becoming an official follower. I promise not to stalk you or ask for surveys, or other time consuming assistance. Hopefully in time, my husband won't be the only one who reads my work.

Have a great day, and even to the disgruntled Catholics, peace be with you.

Mommyhood

2009 brought many things to our family, including four babies on my husband's side. Just this past Sunday, we got a serious baby fix when almost all of these babies were together and we literally had the opportunity to pass them around and cuddle with them. As I'm approaching the third birthday of my youngest, I find myself reminiscing about parenthood...what I thought it was going to be like....versus what it actually is.

I had a lot of notions when I was pregnant with my first. My ideas of starting a family went beyond the perfect crib, cute clothing, and most safe car seat. I truly believed that at night when I laid her down in her cradle, she would sleep soundly until it was time to nurse her again. I reasoned that nursing would be easy- after all, women have been doing it for centuries and what could be easier than feeding an infant warm milk from your own body? I figured, with support from my husband, our perfect child would instantly mold her routine into ours...that which we were accustomed to.

Then I gave birth and realized how wrong I'd been. Honestly, I knew parenthood would be an adjustment, as I'd heard for years, "parenting is the hardest job there is." Yet, what came after Madison's birth was such a shock that nine years later, I still haven't completely recovered. Of all of those plans and routines and rules I'd envisioned, I missed the one most important component...the baby. Until I had Madison, I didn't know what it was to be tired and at the same time awake enough to feed a child in the middle of the night after only two hours of sleep. I didn't understand what fussiness, or tummy aches, or teething pain could do to a baby- and how loud their cry would sound at 3:00am. I didn't know the fear of a first high fever, or the anxiety of leaving her with a babysitter, or the insurmountable love I would feel whenever she smiled at me.

Slowly the insecurities and exhaustion washed away, and we welcomed Peyton and Allison. I learned first hand that no two children are alike. Everything which worked for Madison didn't work for Peyton or Ally. My three children are no more alike than different fingerprints. With each of them, we were relearning how to cope, to struggle, to love them in the ways they needed us to. In fact, we are still learning how to be parents, every single day.

Until I became a mom, I didn't understand the sadness I would feel when my son lost his first school election, or the fear that would shoot through my system the first time Madison fell off of the high balance beam. I didn't realize the anxiety I would feel while standing in an emergency room with Allison coughing so hard, I thought her lungs might burst. Before having kids, I didn't realize that the more you read to them, the better readers they will become. I didn't know that it is entirely possible to be thrown up on by three different people in one night, or that I would look forward to hearing "hi Mommy," whenever I came home from the grocery store. I didn't know how frustrated I'd be seeing newly washed clothing thrown back into the laundry basket or how wonderful it is to get multiple hugs and kisses throughout the day.

Every day I learn something new as a parent. What worked yesterday in getting my toddler to eat her vegetables will certainly not work tomorrow. Likewise, no one will go to bed when I ask them to, or clean up their rooms without being told, and they will never request the same movie on Family Movie Night because that would make life too easy. And when it comes right down to it, parenthood is never easy, no matter how much we wish for it to be.

Forgiveness

What is forgiveness?

According to my handy online Thesaurus...
1. Compassionate feelings that support a willingness to forgive.
2. The act of excusing a mistake or offense.

This would lead me to believe that in order to be forgiven or pardoned, one must have committed a mistake, an offense, a blatant error which hurt another. Yet, I question...is this always the case? Does the offender typically know when they are hurting another, or is the other possibly incapable of forgiveness, or perhaps fashioning a crime in their mind, so that they have a reason to be bitter and angry?

I know in my life, I have hurt other people. I haven't been there when I should have, I've forgotten to call when they needed me, I've said something which was taken the wrong way- or was a comment I shouldn't have said period. I've also been hurt by others. I've been left out, I've been lied to and put down, I've been gossiped about. At what point is it time to let go of these past transgressions and go on with life?

No one benefits from bitterness and grudge holding. No one lives a longer life by gossiping and defaming the reputation of the innocent. The inability to forgive, no matter the reason, will eat away at your soul until there is nothing left but a shell of the vibrant person you once were. Recruiting a following of fellow haters, for no other reason, than to form a camaraderie of animosity to feed off of perceived transgressions will do nothing but lower others to your level of empty gratification.

I also realize there are crimes which are often impossible to forgive- murder, molestation and rape, abuse, the list is long. I'll be honest in admitting, if someone hurt my child, I may never forgive them. Yet, I find inspiration in the mother who visits the drunk driver who killed her son in prison, the woman who turns a terrible sexual assault into a passion for educating college co-eds into the dangers of campus date rape, the family who chooses not to pursue wrongful death charges and rather advocates for causes to keep these occurrences from happening again.

My plea for today is this...
An end to a needless cycle of----
*hating another, just for the sake of hating
*refusing to forgive the innocent based on feelings of grief and bitterness
*choosing to follow a gossiper because it is easy to thrive off of controversies and look for blame.
I think if we could all do this, the world would be a better place...if nothing else, we'd all be a lot happier.

Why I Love Baby Blues

I'll admit it, I'm a Baby Blues junkie. I'm being completely honest in saying the comic strip alone is the primary reason I buy the newspaper. Who wants to read about all of the depressing things happening in our society when I can absorb myself into the lives of Zoe, Hammie, and Wren? Three children with frazzled parents...sounds a lot like my own life. The strip this week has been about Zoe needing to do a school research project on an invention. She chose to report on the invention of...the rug. Sounds like something my kids would do.

Dreams and Loss

I've always had really vivid dreams, some which make sense and others that are just bizarre. Last night- or more accurately- this morning, due to almost sleeping in, I had one that's still got me thinking.

From what I remember, I was living in a different house. That's not too weird since I often dream that my husband and I are moving. Usually, we sell our house and buy one that needs a lot of work. The new houses are never nice, extremely messy (one of them even had rotted food left in the kitchen for me to clean up), and always I'm panicking over why we sold our house for "this." Anyway, in this dream the house had a basement with three bedrooms and a large closet for my photo albums and books. Oh, and my dad lived there. He informed us that my brother was moving in too.

Before I had time to adjust to living with my dad and brother again, I was walking through a mall and saw a lot of people who I went to college with. I was talking to them about basketball and my writing. As I was leaving, toward a long hallway, I saw a former neighbor who played for the GU basketball team. He remembered me and as we were talking we walked toward a large fish tank. After passing the tank, I lost him among the crowd.

I then walked toward a door which was being held open and that's when I saw them...my grandma and grandpa. They were both standing in the doorway, essentially holding the door open for people. I wanted to reach them and talk to them. You see, my grandpa passed away five months ago, yet in my dream, he looked so healthy and happy. He wasn't reclined in a chair, or unable to walk without assistance, or barely able to speak. He was happy and vibrant and standing proudly beside my grandma. I wanted to reach them and hug them both, but I was only able to get to my grandma and hug her. Before I could touch grandpa and tell him how much I miss him, I woke up.

I don't know what my dream meant, it didn't make much sense at all. What I do know is that I woke up this morning with an ache in my chest, knowing that I'll never again see my grandpa alive. I wish I could have reached him before the dream ended, if nothing else than to tell him one more time how much I love him.

The Query Process

When I finished writing my novel, it never occured to me that the next step in publication would be so much more challenging. In a perfect world, writing a manuscript would be the hard part. Turns out, the writing is actually the easy part, especially when the story is playing out in your mind and the characters are as real as the people standing beside you in line at Target. In reality, the publishing aspect is so challenging, and involves more research, time, and prayers than the writing did. I've literally spent months researching, have rewritten my query dozens of times, and am currently tweaking it again before sending it out to agents. I know it isn't perfect, nor will it ever be, but with the odds of having an agent request the manuscript being about 1-2%...it'd better be the closest thing to perfect since Jennifer Aniston's haircut in the second season of FRIENDS.

That said, I thought it'd be helpful to write a terrible query letter and post it to my blog. Just to get all of the kinks out...terrible habits and faux pas. Here goes...

Dear Agent, (Sent out in mass email to no one in particular.)
Hello? Instant delete.

I would like to introduce you to my fiction novel (all novels are fiction), Happily Ever After (wow you might as well name it Once Upon A Time). The manuscript is only about 25% complete. (Yeah, no agent will read an incomplete manuscript, unless you are perhaps, J.K. Rowling.) It doesn't fit into any genre category, (every novel needs a genre), but is a mass market for horror, young adult, romance, science fiction, fantasy, and erotica. (Huh????)

Once upon a time, Cinderella lived with her wicked stepmother. She was so sad all of the time and her sisters were beyond mean to her. When they wanted there (wow, mistaking their with there) breakfast, they were so totally beyond rude to her. She was sad, angry and depressed...kind of like Bella in The Twilight Series, but without the vampires and werewolves. She knew the road less traveled would be rough, but she would be okay because the grass is always greener on the other side. (Cliche, cliche, cliche...you might as well title this, The Kiss of Death.)

I really think this would be your bestselling novel since, the last big one you sold. Also, you're in luck because it's been rejected already by sixty seven people, so that's a sign that it was meant to go to you and anyone else on this mass email. (Is any agent still reading this?)

I would thank you, but you should be thanking me for this awesome book I sent you. (Seriously?) If I don't hear from you, I'll call your office twenty times a day until you call me back, and I'll also stalk you on Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace. (Don't call an agent unless specifically asked to! Restraining orders were created for a reason.)

Later,
Me
No contact information and Later?!?!

Okay, so that query letter would be instantly deleted, never answered, form letter rejected, or shared as "you'll never guess what ended up in my inbox this morning?"

Here's hoping my "real" query letter sounds a bit better...

My New Title

As of today, after many years of hard work, months of paperwork, and much anticipation- I am "officially" the wife of an Army Major. Let me just say how incredibly proud I am of my husband. He's not only served two tours in Iraq, but has been called out for countless State missions including; the Salt Lake City Olympics, Seattle WTO Riots of 1999, and flood duty, among others. He is an amazing soldier, a compassionate leader, and most of all, a wonderful husband and father.

Gluten-Free Dining...Spreading the Word

Today I googled myself and came across a website noting an article I wrote which was published on Celiac.com. The article was titled Gluten-Free Dining, and it was also published in The Journal of Gluten Sensitivity. I was pleasantly surprised to see it had also been noted on The Gluten Free Network.

That's the funny thing about googling yourself. No, I am not the Melissa Blanco who is a professional ballroom dancer, although how cool would that be? I unfortunately embarrass my family at wedding receptions because I am a terrible dancer. Likewise, I am not the Melissa Blanco who is an in-house writer for Tequila.com. I know nothing about tequila aside from the fact that it is in margaritas and I got seriously ill after a fun night of drinking it a long time ago.

Here's the link to the link of my article. Or you could always just go to Celiac.com.

http://glutenfreenetwork.com/articles-and-news/gluten-free-dining-in-a-chain-restaurant/